December 25th

Ecclesia horribilis

Merry Churchmas


... so, according to Melissa Davey writing for The Guardian... the Archbishop of Sydney Anthony Fisher has said

For people of faith you might say it’s been an annus horribilis, as our Christian conceptions of life and love have been challenged in the marriage and euthanasia debates; freedom of religion in Australia put in doubt; and shameful crimes and cover-ups in our Church uncovered by the royal commission. But the Christmas story insists there is a star in the dark sky, light amidst the fears and failures. Christmas speaks of new hope.

which on the one hand, at least slightly tips the hat to the fact that Catholic Church authorities have both committed and covered up crimes of child abuse; but on the other hand, has the gall to claim that "Freedom Of Religion" has been "put in doubt" (even though both the Australian Human Rights Commission and the Australian Constitution cover Freedom of Religion. Where, y'know, the national Constitution still doesn't even cover Freedom of Speech. You'd have to be in either the Australian Capital Territory or the state of Victoria to hope you'd be covered by State and Territory human rights laws for that).

At least there was some admission. Which is at least a little better than the Archbishop of Melbourne Dennis Hart, who said

We live in a world and a church that is rapidly changing. Every morning we seem to wake up to more bad global news of hurricanes, floods, drought, fires and even the frightening possibility of the use of nuclear weapons. The gloom of the world is but a shadow. Behind it, but within our reach, is joy.

Is it appropriate to ask whether a Catholic Archbishop would really know anything about reaching behind for joy? Who knows? Maybe they'd say it isn't such an anus horribilis after all.

On the other hand, let's look at the other side of the fence; a people who believe something incredibly, strongly, thoroughly different; the Anglican Church. What ho!, Dean of the Anglican St David's Cathedral, Richard Humphrey!

Anglican Dean of Hobart, Richard Humphrey
OHGODNO SERIOUSLY JESUSFUCKINGCHRIST WHAT

Not even I would've committed the sin of photoshopping that! No, seriously. That's a photo of Dean Richard Humphrey, by ABC News photographer Peter Curtis.

No. He actually thought this image was a good idea. He thought that theming a Christmas service that talks about ohwaitforit
From Fake News To Really Good News Make Christmas Great Again no seriously I couldn't make this up
"Fake News" versus "Good News". "Make Christmas Great Again".

... jesuswept...

I mean, I was gonna hang on the Anglicans the fact that they aren't angelic either. It's nice that the Anglican Church is "deeply ashamed" of about a thousand (1082; from 22 of 23 dioceses reporting) complaints of child sex abuse. With average time of reporting being twenty-nine years. And that is far more deserving of burning in fire and brimstone than any cheap jokes I'd make about a cheap hat emulating one of the sickest and most despicable almost-human psychopaths in charge of anything.



Let's make the point here and now, shall we? You people are seriously out of touch. You think the rest of the world is wrong. Newsflash: the rest of the world thinks you're wrong.

Christians keep challenging better conceptions of life and love. And you lost, 61.6% to 38.4%. 8:5, you lost. You were wrong. Either you're flat-out lying, or you really believe that "freedom of religion" is "in doubt". You horribilistically sad people really believe you're the light and the way and the gatekeepers of the truth.

What was the tiny interaction I had yesterday that brought much of this to mind? Creepy guy in a Science-Fiction page on Facebook. Thinks that there are two kinds of science-fiction - that without religion and that with religion. And wasn't happy that most people in the forum didn't want an obviously religious movie being pushed (and begging for production funding) in that forum. And what was his almost parting comment, after discussion of the "small minded bigotry"?
Because Anime is just for kids, obvs
Just going to point out there: Disney has been around since 1919. Anime, as a style, art form, genre, in Japan alone, has been around since 1917, has more than 430 production studios, covering genres of action, adventure, comedy, drama, fantasy, horror, mecha, mystery, romance, science-fiction, slice-of-life, hentai.

Homosexual characters appeared; boylove yaoi appeared in anime in the early 1980s; and for that matter, pre-anime manga had lesbian yuri characters and relationships exploring social aspects and tragedy in the 1970s. When did Disney show a "gay moment"? In an animated series, in Star vs. the Forces of Evil, on the digital cable/satellite channel Disney XD. In early, so early, 2017. Or the show "Andi Mack" with a gay storyline making history in... oh, wait, late October 2017. But wait, even earlier...! In Beauty And The Beast, "Gaston’s sidekick LeFou, played by Josh Gad, will have a small subplot relating to his sexuality". In... March. 2017.

Much progressive. So real world.

Here's the problem, you Christians. You truly think that not only are you the superior faith-species, but that you are naturally the Complete Truth, the Only Way, the Greatest of the Great. You think there's only One Book That Really Matters.

... to only be disabused of the notion when you meet people who demonstrate otherwise.

Admittedly, that this statistic is American-centric will probably skew the figures somewhat unfairly; but if we can trust a LiveScience article's reporting on a Gallup Poll from 2014, then -

- ohgod -

- "Four in 10 Americans believe God created the Earth and anatomically modern humans, less than 10,000 years ago". Although - good news everyone! - in a May 2017 Gallup Poll, that number has dropped! It's reached a new low!  Now it's...

... 38%... woohoo.

Is it fair to pick on Young Earth Creationism? They're just re-interpreting the same things all you Christians believe, so oh yeah, are we gonna slug you with this one.

Lemme just rub this in a little bit. Why is this at all important?

Depending on which particular religious tradition you're talking about, [INSERT INTERPRETATION OF GOD HERE] created the world any time from 6984 BCE (including the Byzantine Calendar's dating of the 1st of September 5509 BCE, or Saint Bede the Venerable accused of heresy for not agreeing with 5500 BCE, by saying 18 March 3952 BCE, which would've made having your birthday on 17th March 3952 BCE a real bitch) to 3616 BCE.

Or, Harold Camping's calculation of 11,013 BCE, and we take him very seriously because he predicted the End Of The World!
(When Christ returned on 6 September 1994. Or the Apocalypse in 1988. Or 21 May 2011. Or the Rapture on 21 October 2011. Really, you can't make this shit up. Although, you don't have to. Camping already had).

But apparently it's works derived from the King James Bible that decree the date of Creation was in 4004 BCE; leading to even Shakespeare's line by Rosalind in As You Like It, "No, faith, die by attorney. The poor world is almost six thousand years old, and in all this time there was not any man died in his own person, videlicit, in a love-cause".

4004 BCE. As of the time of this writing, that's six thousand and twenty-one years ago.

Hey, Christians...?

Beer has been chemically dated back to SEVEN THOUSAND YEARS AGO. The Chinese were making fermented rice/fruit drinks NINE THOUSAND YEARS AGO.

It's Dunning-Kruger, you people! You people are so far gone wrong, you can't even understand how far gone wrong you are!

But, no! You Christians are so damn far gone, you think you're persecuted!

... of course, you're also so far gone, that - oh, even in Australia, "Christian persecution is any hostility experienced as a result of proclaiming the name of Jesus". "Practical support to the persecuted church"?

Persecution
Noun
persecution (countable and uncountable, plural persecutions)
1 The act of persecuting.
    • Verb
    • persecute (third-person singular simple present persecutes, present participle persecuting, simple past and past participle persecuted)
1 To pursue in a manner to injure, grieve, or afflict; to beset with cruelty or malignity; to harass; especially, to afflict, harass, punish, or put to death for one's race, sexual identity, adherence to a particular religious creed, or mode of worship.
    "Do good to them that hate you, and pray for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you." – Matt. 5:44.
2 To harass with importunity; to pursue with persistent solicitations; to annoy.
2 A program or campaign to subjugate or eliminate a specific group of people, often based on race, religion, sexuality, or social beliefs.
- <https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/persecution> / <https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/persecute>

Seriously you godbothering twats! Not only does the dictionary have much harsher terms than "hostility" you weak-ass losers, it even includes a quote from your own damn Bible about still being good to them!

So shall we go back to the bits about child abuse, you freaks?



... let's return to Melissa Davey's report. In the end, she finally quotes Dr Glenn Davies, angelic Anglican Archbishop of Sydney. Well dang, he didn't just tweet. He didn't just tweet his Christmas message for the first time. He was Tweeting The Truth. Apparently the Truth In 280 Characters reads

God creates the world We rebel God sends his Son Jesus into our world to be born in a stable + grow up to die on a cross but that’s not the end He defeats death + is raised to life offering every1 freedom from death. In short—a baby born in a shed saves the world #canyoubelieveit

You know what, doc?

And, penultimately, let's not forget, you evil religious creatures... "Leaders of the Catholic church in Australia have quickly dismissed calls from a landmark inquiry into child sexual abuse". By all means, Melbourne Archbishop Hart, you go straight to damn jail if so much as one more abused child gets reported in your damn guilt tripping confessionals. That, indeed, would be Good News.

Seriously, you horrific, terrifying, narrow-minded, over-powered, delusional, Dunning-Krugerred Archbishops. Forget it. We'd be better off trusting almost anybody else.

It's beginning to look a lot like Cthulhumas...